The Spice Girls were running through my mind with part of this title, thus the extra “really.” 🙂 What I really really do want for teen and college girls to hear – I mean really hear (for it to sink in) – is truth about who they are. It’s why I’ve written Face Time. When I was asked this question though on a live radio program last week* I didn’t adequately convey what I wished I had.
I had only found out about the interview the night before, so not being great off the cuff I woke up early to work through the scripted questions in the press release. Since it would be an audio recording (not video, too) I planned to basically read my well-thought through answers off my open laptop. As you can probably guess, that’s not how it played out.
My notes were in front of me, but the host had his own set of questions. For the most part- fine; the interview afterall was about my book which is a subject I know well. But, the last question I want a do-over on! He asked me to end the show by speaking directly to the teenage girl listening in; to tell her in one minute what I wanted her to know.
There is tons I could’ve said. In that moment though under pressure what came out of my mouth I would summarize as platitudes. Nothing not true, but nothing too concrete to hang on to either. In a “do-over” I would give “meat” that cut to the heart. Something to give her pause or extend true hope to the girl struggling with her identity and worth. So while I don’t want to beat myself up over “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve,” what it is I really really want teen girls to hear is this:
Beautiful precious girls,
Do you know you are loved and accepted? Do you feel your worth? Do you know you are worthy? Or, do you feel like you have to make yourself better? A little more perfect?
How are you trying to attain that? And why?
Do you think people will like you better if you are skinnier? Will 600, 700, 800+ likes on your Instagram picture help you feel your worth? What about the next picture, do you need to meet or exceed your record to keep feeling okay about yourself?
Do you wear the deep V-cut dresses so others will think you’re “hot?” There is not doubt in my mind it’ll win you the boys’ approval and fuel some jealousy among girls, but does that fill you? I mean really, really fill you? Is the type of guy who wants you as arm candy what you want?
What I want you to know is you are so much more. You don’t have to go chasing after all these fleeting things. It’s exhausting, I know. And I imagine there is still emptiness; a longing for something more.
Well, good news you can stop trying. Jesus already secured a true identity for you. He was perfect for you and because he was God’s approval of you is certain. You could never get enough “likes” to measure up to his love and acceptance.
I could go on and on. But here, today, I wanted you to hear enough to make you think about why you do what you do, and to see there is a way to fill that soul hole and it’s in something so much better, so much more that what this world is offering. Appearance, performance, popularity, success – none of it will ever make you whole. The answer to the hole in your soul is to look full in to Jesus’ face and see who he is for you. He performed perfectly for you to gain the eternal acceptance and love of the Father.
You are his prized possession. Heir to his kingdom. Daughter of the King. Deeply loved. Forgiven. Redeemed. May you live loved in light of these truths and be set free from trying to secure your worth any other way.
Your friend and fellow deeply loved sinner,
If you are a teen/college girl who needed to hear this today, I bet others do too. Or, if you know girls who would benefit from this message, would you share this post, or even just copy and paste the letter?
Face Time, a book for teen/college girls on identity and worth, comes out May 29th. You can preorder it now: here. Want to join the Book Launch Team? Click here. *To listen to the radio interview click here and scroll down the page.